21 May, 2019 at 14:22 #538
It is my first time on here. What a great website you have.
My wife suffers from depression, which she has for years. We’re both getting on in years now (I hate to admit that!)
We have been through our ups and downs. Seeing this website has made we want to get in touch with other husbands facing the same challenges I am.
Maybe I could help? Offer some advice?
Looking forward to talking to you.21 May, 2019 at 14:37 #540Pops_Man_Participant
I’m a husband ;O)
Although my wife isn’t what brings me here. I’ve suffered depression myself and I’ll take my hat off to you buddy! ;O)
I’m a bit worried about my best friend. Lately he’s withdrawn, he’s drinking more than usual and just generally isn’t himself.
I can see the signs and I want to try to help him, but he’s just pushing back. He’s not accepting that there might be something genuinely wrong. He’s now avoiding me as much as possible. Not returning my calls. And I’m just getting more and more worried.
I want to be there for him, but he won’t let me.22 May, 2019 at 21:55 #552AmandaKeymaster
Hi Stephen and welcome. Have you seen Louis post? His wife has depression and he is getting on in years too. Think it’s called how to start taking. Might we worth picking up on his thread?
Welcome to the RockPool30 May, 2019 at 07:47 #595
Hello to you both!
Amanda I will have a search for Louis’ post now, thank you.
Pops_Man hello fellow husband, sorry to hear about your friend. It’s tough being pushed away by your friend, I get a real sense of where you are as I’ve been there many times myself.
All I will say to you is to remind yourself often, that this is not you. It isn’t a reflection on you personally or your friendship. This is something he is battling with and obviously needs space and time to do that.
Continue to be there, supporting, caring, loving. That is all you can do and he will feel it. Hopefully one day he’ll be able to see you there in the background being there for him.
Until then my friend, I am here for you.30 May, 2019 at 17:06 #602louisParticipant
StephenR sounds like we have the exact same issue. Older generation, with a wife with depression and we don’t know how to talk about it. I see Amanda pointed you at my post. My wife is up now, but it was a long one this time and bloody hard. Sounds like you are able to talk about it more freely than I though. I’m not comfortable with it, but I do find myself on my own.31 May, 2019 at 11:49 #617
Louis I understand how you feel, really I do. I have been there for so much of my life and one day I just decided enough is enough. My wife and I started to be a bit more open and honest about what we were going through. With each other and our nearest and dearest. It has not solved her depression, but it has made things easier. We are more able to discuss it openly with our family and friends, rather than trying to hide and make up excuses all the time. It did definitely making things better for us. I understand that not everyone is situation where they feel comfortable doing so, but if you do I would highly recommend it.
How is your wife today? Can she talk about these low periods when she is feeling better and able to reflect?
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