3 June, 2019 at 13:38 #624Pops_Man_Participant
Hi I’m new here. I’ve posted a few things but thought it would be easier to start a new thread.
I’m really worried about my best friend. He’s struggling at the moment and just shutting me out. He was in the army and I know he’s struggled since returning to civvy street.
I’ve spent being doing a lot of online searching but everything is aimed at helping him directly, which really unfortunately requires him to make that first step. I’m trying to encourage him and get through to him, but so far nothing is working.
Are there any forces members on here? Any advice? Thanks, I’m really worried.8 June, 2019 at 13:44 #629AmandaKeymaster
Hi Pops-Man I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It’s got to be hard. A friend of mine was in the RAF and when she came out she really struggled. Eventually she found a role in a large corporate (which reflected the hierarchy of the forces) and went into training.
Is it the transition your friend is struggling with? How long has it been?
A x10 June, 2019 at 16:41 #630MickMilnerParticipant
Im not forces but I have friends who are. They have found the transition really hard. I think what helped them was talking to each other about it and keeping together as a team.
I don’t think it’s something people outside of the forces can understand. Does he have any of his Army/Navy/Raf mates around? Can they help?5 July, 2019 at 14:30 #689Pops_Man_Participant
Hi Mick, sorry I haven’t been on here in a while. My friend isn’t doing so good and I’ve had to take a step back really. He does have a few friends still from the forces, but I don’t know them that well. I’ve never really liked them if I’m totally honest. I think they just see someone they can go out and get smashed with and do stupid stuff. They don’t see the friend I know underneath that’s struggling. I am really gutted it has come to this, but at the moment he just isn’t interested in getting help or listening to me.8 July, 2019 at 09:32 #694AmandaKeymaster
Hi Pops_Man_ have you heard of Ekhart Tolle? He and a few other spiritual teachers have said that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to come back up. I also heard a saying the other day “I’m sorry I had to hit you so hard, but you were not listening” The Universe.
Sometimes the kindest thing to do is to step back. You know him best, if he falls you can be there to help him back up, perhaps he needs to fall to get back up.
Someone else I know, who is a recovered alcoholic and manic depressive also said that if a person doesn’t listen, you sometimes have to let them hit rock bottom before they can come back up.
If that is what happens, it is hard to watch, particularly when things seem so clear to the person watching, we are here to lean on.
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